For the first time, singer Jesy Nelson has opened up about leaving the girl band Little Mix and she cannot front — she’s happier than ever.

After taking some time to herself, Nelson is back in the spotlight (and in the studio) with a newfound confidence, she tells Cosmopolitan U.K.

“When I look back [at my time] in the band, I genuinely wasn’t me.

After going on an “extreme diet,” she still “found it so hard” to be a carefree pop star.

“There’s a scene in ‘Sweet Melody’ I’m not in, because that’s when I had a panic attack and broke down,” she remembers.