“We’re not bullshitting you, we’re storytelling,” he proclaimed after ripping through Disney, the “smug bastards” at Netflix and all their mutual rivals.

ABC 2022-23 Fall Schedule Has ‘Bachelor In Paradise’, ‘Abbott’ & ‘Big Sky’ Move, ‘AMLT’ & ‘Wonder Years’ Held.

Even by his own admittedly high standard, this year’s roughly 15-minute routine had something for everyone and took on everyone, with maybe even more bite than before – and a slap or two, if you know what I mean.

A Disney CEO has never spoken at the upfront before and now we know why.

Disney has been so committed to being inclusive and culturally sensitive since … everyone started getting mad at us for not?

It’s our 100th anniversary, and we are gonna celebrate that milestone like only Disney can — by milking the living shit out of it.

That isn’t a fall schedule.

We don’t have the Olympics, Young Sheldon or 14 shows about Chicago — but you know what we do have.

Fox didn’t even bother to release a fall schedule yesterday

Like, what if CBS decided not to release a fall schedule

If there’s no fall schedule, how would we know if Blue Bloods is still on the air

You know what ABC’s big plan to win back viewers is

There are too many pluses to compete with Disney Plus, Hulu Plus, Paramount Plus, Discovery Plus, Apple TV Plus – it’s a Plusterf*ck out there