Harry and Meghan threw away their royal obligations as vigorously as John Kerry threw away his Vietnam War service ribbons.

Take that, everyone who ever saw a ginger walking down the street and yelled out of his car, “Ronald McDonald,” “Carrot Top” or “Leprechaun,” not that anything like that has ever happened to me. !

The Queen was literally bombed by Nazis for a year and never even said, “How perfectly beastly!” If anyone had suggested she ever go on a worldwide it’s-so-hard-to-be-me tour, she would have told him to stop being such a wet.

In 1992, the year a massive fire at Windsor Castle took out 115 rooms and both of her sons’ marriages also went up in flames, Elizabeth said, “1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure.” Hell, yeah: The British way is mastery of the colossal understatement

There’s a reason people say “Slay, Queen” and not “Preach, Duchess.” The Queen also called that year her “Annus Horribilis.” What a classy way to say, “That sucked!” Meghan Markle, on the other hand, gets duly mocked by Piers Morgan (“I wouldn’t believe her if she filed a weather report”) and she files a formal complaint

And not since the Duke of Windsor turned out to be a bit of a Nazi has the royal family suffered an embarrassment on par with H&M’s ghastly Time magazine cover: “This looks like Harry is her hairdresser and he’s looking into the mirror explaining what he did to her layers,” observed Irish comic Gráinne Maguire on Twitter.