This experience is all-too familiar to immigrants and people with non-white or non-Western names in particular.
As someone who has regrettably said this in the past, I understand the instinct to let someone know you’re apologetic going into the pronunciation.If you announce that you’re going to butcher someone’s name before you even try saying it, you sound like you’ve already given up.
Once you recognize the feeling that you’re going to butcher someone’s name, you can channel that self-awareness into actually asking for the correct pronunciation.
This could come across as fetishizing non-Western names, which puts people on the spot and singles them out as “other.”.
If you’re going to try to say someone’s name, at least commit to the attempt.I don’t want to get your name wrong, how do you pronounce it?” Try to be proactive about double-checking people’s names before meeting, whether or not you’re worried about a particular pronunciation—it’s a strong habit to form.