Carlson can now officially untuck, because Mars Wrigley has dismissed its generally beloved CGI spheres for a new human spokesperson, the as-yet controversy-free, former "Seventh Generation" pitchperson Maya Rudolph.

We've learned a lot about Carlson through his peculiar crusade to cancel sarcastic Red, anxious Orange, dopey Yellow, whatever Blue is supposed to be, girl boss Brown, self-accepting Purple and Green, the crew's oversexed thot.

"[O]ur new character reminds us to celebrate what makes us unique," enthused Mars Wrigley global vice president Jane Hwang in a statement, touting the relatability of Purple, "including her willingness to embrace her true self."

Despite all of the mileage Carlson and every other Fox News host have gotten out of calling the company "woke" – and Mars, Inc.'s declared intent in January 2022 "to use the power of fun to include everyone, with a goal of increasing the sense of belonging for 10 million people around the world by 2025" – not so fast.

"This incredible experience reminded me how important thriving cocoa farmers are to our Mars Wrigley chocolate brands, and how critical it is that we continue to live our Purpose: Better Moments Make the World Smile."

As part of creating "Better Moments and More Smiles," the report says that in that year, the company introduced "a set of expectations of our suppliers, which include having robust systems in place designed to monitor, identify, and remediate any human rights issues."