“There’s been a tightening of our social circles,” says science journalist Lydia Denworth, author of “Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond.” The pandemic, Denworth says, is “causing stress and strain to every relationship.”.

Philadelphia personal injury lawyer Danyl Patterson says covid-19 has ended her days as a “social butterfly” who used to fry 80 pounds of fish at a time for crowds of casual friends.

“I’ve learned I need fewer people in my life,” she says.

As the weather heated up and friends angled for invitations, she set strict rules concerning who could visit her.

Some friends and relatives were hurt, and some were angry.

“There are people I’m no longer speaking with,” Patterson says.

Patterson concedes she may have lost some friends for good, but she says the overall quality of her friendships has improved.

Yet Denworth, the author, says the restrictions may also provide a chance — and even the perfect excuse — to weed out relationships that were troublesome before all this began.

Holt-Lunstad’s recent studies suggest that “ambivalent” relationships, those combining affection and hostility (alas, like so many family ties), create chronic stress that can ultimately damage health.

“It’s not as if we just need to make people more engaged with others.

The pandemic’s toll on friendships goes deeper than mere political polarization — the confusion of a mask with support for “big government.” It’s more about discovering personality differences between you and your relatives and friends, including different levels of risk-tolerance and what might seem like irrational optimism on one side vs.

When even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention isn’t providing clear-cut answers about how long the virus stays on surfaces (Hours? Days?), opinions may substitute for facts, making you likelier to argue with a friend who has just told you that you can’t use her bathroom.

“I heard this somewhere and wish I’d thought of it: We’re faced with a moment with our friends in which we’re having to navigate consent like people do with sexual relationships,” Denworth says.

“People have stopped inviting me places because they’re worried I won’t come, which is true,” says Jennifer Renner, an office worker in Berkeley, Calif., with a 1-year-old child.

“It’s perfectly safe,” she says her friend told her.

At that point will people just cut off most of their contacts with others?”.

“Does anyone else want to join me in finding an island where we can live with like-minded people who wear masks in any indoor space, keep distance, and don’t comment on how ‘this is just like the flu’ or ridicule you for taking precautions?” read a recent post by a high school teacher in Ohio