Whatever your experiences with own mental health, it’s daunting to find the perfect thing to say when someone you care about is struggling with depression.

When someone is depressed, they aren’t themselves in their thinking, feelings, and body, “and that means that every word you say to them really matters,” says Roseann Capanna-Hodge, an integrative mental health expert, speaking to Parade.

Assuming you want to help your loved one, it’s natural to feel like you’re walking on eggshells to avoid saying the wrong thing.

Below are some common phrases that you should avoid saying to someone struggling with depression, as well as what you can say to help them instead.

Someone going through depression will not feel like they can simply “cheer up” or “snap out of it.”.

It’s a challenge to find the right thing to say, and it’s easy to lean on phrases like “stay strong” or “things will get better.” However, if this is all you say, the person you’re talking to might be left wondering if you really took them seriously at all.

You can recognize the fact that someone’s depression is nothing to be ashamed of, but avoid making them feel like they’re overreacting to a highly personal, painful experience right now.

Depending on your relationship to the depressed person, you might feel at the end of your rope.

Comparisons don’t help a depressed person.

These statements are dismissive and make people question whether they “deserve” to feel depressed (which is a faulty way of thinking about mental health).

While it’s true that exercise can help to manage depression, it’s not a standalone treatment plan.

There are no doubt times where healthy lifestyle changes would have a positive impact on someone’s mental health.

If you’re going through a mental health crisis and need to talk to someone, there are several organizations that provide 24/7 crisis support and general counseling free of charge